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Donations - a rant

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  • #16
    Saying "no" is not easy for me either. I try to help where I can, but put a limit on it. I too support those I care about (the Phoenix Zoo is one of my annual favorites). But I have turned down those I cannot personally condone or support. I'm 1/8 native American Indian. There's a belief that in everything we create, a part of our "life spirit" goes with it, so it must be worth giving up part of our life for. The value of the portion of your life you give is something you can never get back. To those I must decline: "I'm honored that you find my art appealing, but I must respectfully decline your invitation to support your cause."
    Linda at


    • #17
      "Refine your response." . . . LOL . Love that answer!

      The implication of that is like this: I learned long ago that my three girls could pick apart every answer I gave. The more detailed answer, the more they would pick parts of it and use it against me logically, and I am the "logician" in personalities. No win situation. So this experience pushed me to "refining" answers to "No" and "Because I said so".
      My girls, to this day, will say: "I hate it when dad says "because I say so - because that doesn't leave us any room for argument and 'manipulation'". However, my girls have learned the value of it when answering THEIR kids!

      Adults do this too. The more you answer, the more they have to pick apart your answer and try to find a way around why you can't - in other words - trying to manipulate you into doing what they want on their terms. IF you love arguing for the sake of arguing, then give long answers. Your longer or reasoned answers will feed into this frenzy, and you better be good at arguing or you will have "egg on your face."

      Simple "No" or "No I cannot or will not at this time." "Maybe in two years or three years."

      My organization recently refined our mission, purpose and operations statement to 3 pages from 20. That greatly freed us up to do what we needed to do. Most people don't realize that longer answers do more confining and cause more frustration than short answers do.

      Refine your answer and stick to it.
      Last edited by leehljp; 03-10-2018, 08:47 AM.
      Hank Lee
      Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted.


      • #18

        Jim, Ronald McDonald House is an amazing charity to donate your time to. There are lots of charities and it should be up to us what we donate our time and talent to. No is no. I don't feel a long explanation is necessary. "Sorry, I don't have time as my to do list is so long I am no longer doing requests." Then "the look" if they persist. When I do certain shows they "request" an item for drawings. The winners are given the slip, then come to your table to get the item. Usually, they see someting else they like better that costs more but pay the difference. Win win for both of us. Everyone is happy, new customer. They visit me next year. Linda, what tribe? I have cousins who are direct descendants of Chief Black Hawk. Quite interesting story.

        "Congress needs to realize it is a government of the people, by the people and for the people. Not of the people, by the people and for Congress." - Dr. Benjamin Carson, Pediatric Neurosurgeon, Johns Hopkins Hospital


        • #19
          A compulsive donation? Isn't that a tax?
          Pacifism is great, as long as everyone is participating.


          The Southern Arizona Woodturners Association
          Desert Woodcrafters
          Grandpa for the 7 most amazing children.


          • #20
            I reserve 10% of my woodwork for the community and I have a list 18 months long. I had a church ask me to build something and I did. They asked me how much they owed. I told them either $300 or $30. Thet asked what was the difference. I told them they were either a customer or a charity, If they were a customer they could come back anytime they wanted. If they were a charity they had to go on the list and the list was now 18 months long. They said they would love to be a customer but just couldn't afford it. I said fine as long as they knew the rules.



            • #21
              I had an accintance ask me to make four plaques for the officers stepping down. I said fine and then she told me what she wanted in great detail. I told her I took this on because I had an idea I wanted to try. Well the plaques came out great. I week month later she called to say that they were so well received that other people in the charity wanted them and she wanted to know if I could make 15 or 20 more. I said no. She said I could take it as a tax write off. I told her my classification only allowed me to writ off material. I told her she was on the charity list and the only reason I moved her to the front was that the idea I had appealed to me. Now that I had built them and got them out of the system. If she wanted them immediately they would be $15 dollars each. Well noone actually wanted one if they cost money.


              • #22
                I will kit up projects for the local school teachers but I have to train them about asking. Here is my public announcement..

                If you want sometime done for your class please give the woodworker you ask at least two months to do the job. Preferably three months. Also be flexible about what you want, Be willing a write a letter on school letterhead saying that I am doing a project so I can ask my suppliers to donate material. Asking during Thanksgiving break for a Christmas project is just not going to be possible.

                I had a teacher ask one time in late November and I told her I would be happy to help her next year when she contacted be in September. She wanted me the cut Christmas trees from scrap 2 x 4s. I instead offered the make laser cut 3D Christmas trees made from 1/8" MDF. The whole class took less than .a 4 by 8 sheet. ($6). My supplier donated to me. I gave him some for his employees' kids at their Christmas party. The remainder I gave to the local children's hospital. I also told the teacher to please explain the rules to her associates who asked.


                • #23
                  Stephen it is a request. I can say yes or no. I have gained many customers from the donations.

                  Lee another favorite of mine - No, what letter don’t you understand the n or the o? Is that refined enough? 😂😂

                  "Congress needs to realize it is a government of the people, by the people and for the people. Not of the people, by the people and for Congress." - Dr. Benjamin Carson, Pediatric Neurosurgeon, Johns Hopkins Hospital


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