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What's the best way to get motivated??

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  • What's the best way to get motivated??

    Hey forum friends!! As a lot of you know I lost my mom a couple weeks ago and have been pretty down in the dumps. This is the first time I've been in the shop for probably a month. My problem is how do I get motivated to even start something?? The few things I was working on before my mom got sick were NOT working out. So here I sit at my shop computer just looking around at things. Does anyone have any suggestions???
    Cathy in NE

    "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." - Anonymous

  • #2
    The person I admire most in this world is my wife.

    Two years ago she lost her mom, one of her older sisters, and her youngest brother in less than a year.

    What gave her the strength to not just greet each new day - but to enjoy it - was - in this order - faith, family, friends and her own inner drive to find not just purpose but joy in every single day.

    You are in a tough time - it will get better - and part of the getting better will be the comfort you know you can find in your work.


    Jay

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    • #3
      Dave
      "Tight's tight, too tight's broken"

      My Gallery

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      • #4
        I am sorry for your loss Cathy. When we lose a loved one, we're sad and hurt because we think of never seeing them again, which does hurt. But when we also see them walking on the streets of gold, living in one of the many mansions He has prepared for us. Walking and talking with our Saviour! Then it doesn't seem too bad. Knowing they're with Jesus, where there's no pain and sickness and it's always the same temperature! (lol) That helped me in '85 when I lost my mom. Don
        Don

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        • #5
          Cathy,
          it is just one day at a time. You will feel better if you can make something just anything believe me with all the medical stuff I've been going through and losing my mom and all of a sudden being single unexpectedly I have my days, but I find if I can force myself to begin a small project i do feel better so i'm making cars and trucks to donate to the safe house for battered women and their children this year again for Christmas. Gives me a reason to make sawdust & get out of bed. Didn't mean to make it sound like it was about me. Just letting you know it will get better...Time does heal all.
          "Still Montana Mike"

          "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
          Mike's Wood-n-Things LLC

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          • #6
            You have my deepest sympathy, Cathy.

            Everyone grieves a little differently. Some take solace and comfort in immersing themselves in their hobby, even if it is only busy work. Others have difficulty focusing and suffer from a lack of desire & motivation. They almost feel guilty for enjoying something amidst their grief. There is no right or wrong here. If you don't feel like working in the shop, then don't. I do encourage you to engage in the positive though. It doesn't have to be scrolling, but you do need positive thoughts and activities to help you through your grief.

            My Dad died in December of 2003. I was right in the midst of my annual Christmas projects and ornaments. I knew people would understand if I didn't finish stuff for Christmas, but something about maintaining the tradition kept me motivated. It was hard, but my Dad liked to tinker in his shop, so I felt like his spirit was with me and the solitude of the shop was good for me. I ended up making an urn to hold his cremains later the following Spring. It was emotionally wrenching, working on that urn and there were times I just had to stop work on it to compose myself, but again, I was motivated by the purpose behind the task and Dad's spirit helped me through it.

            I don't know if any of this helps, but knowing that others have gone through what you are going through can be of some comfort. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
            Homer : "Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter. Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain."

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            • #7
              I agree with all of the above - the grief process is personal, and I can see that you have started that long road to healing by feeling a desire to do something. First, don't get down on yourself for not wanting to jump right on in there and get busy -- don't push. I do best when I take one day at a time, one step at a time. For me, that means something like setting a goal to make one Christmas ornament for the Rudolf project. Once that one is done, I will probably feel like making another one, but I don't plan for that until I'm ready. I think it helps when I am doing something creative, and when I am doing that for someone else as a gift. Hope that helps you come up with the next step that you are ready to take. Bless you!

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              • #8
                There's no reason why you should feel obliged to use those tools in your workshop, Cathy. It's a hobby - you do it to entertain yourself.

                Perhaps this is a time when you don't feel it would be appropriate to entertain yourself; perhaps you need to share your time with others. So do whatever you will find fulfilling with your cherished family and friends. Be kind to yourself and to them by being with them and doing all those things which reassure you that there is still love, happiness and tomfoolery to be savoured.

                There'll come a time when you will feel an urge to cut wood again and guess what? Your workshop will still be there for you.
                There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.
                (Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

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                • #9
                  I am so sorry for your loss and I remember how it felt for me. I believe the best way to get out of a depression is to do something for someone else. Cut something your mom would have liked and hang it on the wall where you can see it often and remember when you need to. Then start cutting for someone else like neighborhood kids, the preacher at the funeral, your church or some favorite person. It'll make you feel better and give you something else to think about.
                  I wish you well.

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                  • #10
                    Oh Cathy I think allot of know what you are going through. Some because of the loss of a family member and others because of medical problems. What ever the reason, we have to go through it I guess to find the healing. Mine is because of the loss of my Mother (at 94 yrs. old) and a health problem that sent my brain into a spin. I am still having problems getting though the medical part. I do take some needed meds. and I find talking to people about all types of things helps me...I guess it takes my mind off of my own problems...perhaps instead of talking, I need to listen and laugh with others. I have so many items I want to start on in the shop and others that need finishing, but just do not have the strength at times....plenty of desire, but when it comes to do it, I walk in the shop and look at everything that either needs cleaned or put away before I can start on a project, and it's so easy to just not do anything... I was thinking about this today when I was returning from taking the trash to the dump. I have about 18 band saw boxes that need to be finished in some way, but...............
                    Hawaiilad
                    Larry

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                    • #11
                      I came from Germany when I was 7 so there was always German music in the house.
                      After my Dad and then 5 years later my Mom passed away I was where you are now. Whwn we cleaned out my parents house I got my Mom's CD player whhich had 5 upbeat German CD's in it. It is in my workshop so whenever I get in a funk I play that music while I scroll and remember lots of wonderful things.
                      Rolf
                      RBI G4 26 Hawk, EX 16 with Pegas clamps, Nova 1624 DVR XP
                      Philosophy "I don't know that I can't, therefore I can"
                      Proud Member of the Long Island Woodworkers Club
                      And the Long Island Scrollsaw Association

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                      • #12
                        After my brother suddenly passed away last year I lived in my shop. I found it a necessary distraction, if I kept thinking about other things, I did not have to think of his passing. So I did not allow myself to head into a depression or misery. So I just kept the constant distraction going until my body ended up in pain from overworking myself. But by then I was able to find that balance in life again. I guess we all do what we need to to overcome our obstacles.

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                        • #13
                          Cathy:
                          Neither of my parents (or in-laws) got to see any of my scroll saw pieces, but since my Dad, both grandfathers and other relatives were avid woodworkers and cabinet builders, I feel a certain connection to them when I sit at the saw.

                          There are times when I can feel their "guidance" as I select a piece of wood or get the blade into a situation where I have to think about my next move. I use my saw as a refuge and escape. I try to be peaceful as I saw and let my trials disappear down down through the saw with the sawdust. (Doesn't always work, but I AM calmer after a good session on the saw)

                          Don't push yourself for the sake of getting something "done". That something is out there waiting for you. The tools will be there ready for you, that special piece of wood is already in the shop and the pattern may be close at hand. And when the time is right, you will be moved to sand, cut and finish. It may not be the most perfect piece you ever cut--but it will be the one where your mind and body were back in concert and the magic began to flow again.

                          Having been in your situation, I grieve with you. While the hurt never completely goes away, the memories will soon push the hurt to a point where you know your Mother would want you to be.
                          Jim
                          When looking at the clock at work--the correct time is:
                          Too early to leave, too late to call in.

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                          • #14
                            Cathy, when the time is right, you'll know it, whether it's sooner or later. Listen to your heart, and do what feels most comforting at this difficult time.
                            Carole

                            Follow me on my blog: www.scrollsawbowls.blogspot.com

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