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Making Plaques

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  • Making Plaques

    I’m sitting on the sofa one Saturday afternoon drooling over a tool catalog and “She Who Must Bless All Tool Purchases” came up to ask a question. (This is my pet name for my wife. She prefers “Queen of Everything” but I digress). She states, “The president of the soccer club asked me today if you could make four plaques to give out to the referees at the annual dinner next month.”

    “Does that include BOZO?” I ask.


    “Well does it?”


    “Well forget it. I won’t do it!”

    I have to explain here. I was at my daughter’s soccer game and this particular referee called an aggressive foul on my little girl. Now this was just not possible. My humble response was to say “WHAT KIND OF WIENNIE *** CALL IS THAT! YA, I’M TALKING TO YOU”. For this I get to watch the rest of the game in my car in the parking lot. Now I’m not saying my children are perfect. Would they leave tools outside to rust? In a moment! Would they open a can of paint with a chisel? Only if some more expensive measuring tool was not readily available. Would they cut a branch off a tree with a $190 backsaw? Of course! My children are far from perfect but it is not possible for my daughter to intentionally foul someone. This referee is a total bozo.

    “Well I already told her you WOULD do it!” is SWMBATP’s final statement on this.

    Now this can work to my benefit. Maybe no one is going to notice an extra tool purchase on the old charge card this month. Okay I’ll make the **** plaques.

    I make plaques by cutting some silhouette with my scroll saw and mounting it on a piece of hardwood. They are very easy to make and people really seem to appreciate them. I find some soccer silhouettes and enlarge them on a copy machine.

    For the silhouette material I like to use 1/8 inch walnut veneer. If the design is too detailed for grained wood, (or I just really don’t really care much), I use 1/8th inch luan plywood stained brown. No big guess which one I chose.

    I stack six pieces of luan and cut the silhouettes. I only need four but this allows me two spares after I select the best three and worst one of the group.

    I stain them brown and glue to the plaque. (Brown shoe polish makes great stain and Hot Shot glue takes about 10 seconds to set.) I keep small pieces of scrap hardwood around for whenever I am called to plaque duty. I finish up with a couple coats of lacquer. They look okay. I have met my obligations in two hours total. (3 hours if you count going to the drug store to use the copier and stopping at 7-11 for a big gulp and hotdog.)

    A couple of weeks later I see the president of the soccer club while at the supermarket.

    She says, “Oh those plaques are just soooo lovely! We were wondering would you mind making 20 more of them to give out to all the Senior Referees when they have their annual dinner?”

    My response is, “I will be more than happy to….....… just as soon as a certain referee wears a red ball on his nose the next time he referees.”

    I got a new tool and the last word all in the same month. Life doesn’t get better than this.

    Dave Van Ess
    Last edited by DaveVanEss; 09-03-2011, 11:37 PM.

  • #2
    It's always great to hear happily married people tell why they are so happily married. (It is much the same as showing us a template. We like templates on this forum).

    Great post!

    I've Got A Lot More To Learn
    About Leaving Battlegrounds Alone
    "~~ Molly Venter


    • #3
      Dave enjoyed your post. A pic of the plaques would have been nnice too
      Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


      • #4
        Dave great post. Being a former player, asst. coach of my daughters soccer team, and referee, I can see where you are coming from. As for the red nose, does a Make-up game played in the beginning of December in 40 degree weather count. A few years ago we actually played in snow flurries in 30 degree's and yes I had a red nose. How fast can you get the plaques done. LOL.
        Proud new owner of an EX-21



        • #5
          Very entertaining however.....

          "Still Montana Mike"

          "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
          Mike's Wood-n-Things LLC


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