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A Few One Liners. . .

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  • A Few One Liners. . .

    Bikers are living proof that you can wear leather and not look sexy.
    --J. Wagner (Crabby Road)

    Ever notice when women hold off getting married, we call it "independence,"
    but when men do, it's called "fear of commitment"? --Jay Trachman

    Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to
    die. --Malachy McCourt

    Charisma: that mysterious something that bald, dull billionaires have.
    --Sam Ewing

    If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one.
    --Cavett Robert

    I was cruising the information superhighway and accidentally ran head-on
    into a fact. --Bob Thaves (Frank & Ernest)

    People who see driving up and down the main drag of a small town 3,000
    times a night as a relief from boredom are the sort of people who
    watched Beavis and Butthead to stretch their minds. --Bill Hall

    In times of rapid changes, learners inherit the earth, while the learned
    find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer
    exists. --Eric Hoffer (Former Labor Boss)

    I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died. --Richard Diran

    ... the rocking chair has killed a lot more people than the bouncing
    bed. --Bill Hall

    How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a big doofus who should have looked at a map? --J. Wagner (Crabby Road)

    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. --George

    Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. --Oscar

    To their credit, my new bifocals initially made me feel much younger.
    Immediately after putting them on, I discovered that moving my head up
    and down produced the same level of nausea that I once got only at
    high-school beer parties. --Robert Kirby

    Those new airline rules limiting the size of your luggage are
    ridiculous. Heck, the bags under my EYES are bigger than what they
    allow! --J. Wagner (Crabby Road)

    It's no secret that heart attacks kill far more men than women. Medical
    experts always believed the primary reason was because one gender nagged the other gender way more than necessary. --Robert Kirby

    Only a mediocre writer is always at his best. --W. Somerset Maugham
    I've Got A Lot More To Learn
    About Leaving Battlegrounds Alone
    "~~ Molly Venter

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