Okay, Here's Your Sign . . . .

[Powakee]

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same
size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her...

~~~~~~~~~~~

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
up our car we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did
not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute,
and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this
way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the
manager, he asked me to repeat my request. I did so, he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

New Rule: Do not confuse the clerks at McD's!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

-- From Kansas City

~~~~~~~~~~
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
~~~~~~~~~~~

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for?
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!'

She is a probation officer in Wichita, KS

~~~~~~~~~~~

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the
company due to 'downsizing,' Our manager commented cheerfully,
'This is fun. We should do this more often.

[sawdustus]

Some of those are truly scary.

george

[rippersmom]

From personal experience as a computer tech/analyst, I could probably write a book! LOL

Panic call: printer just stopped working, would not turn on, NOTHING! Big project, no printer, catastrophe!! Nancy to the rescue <drum roll>! Looked under the computer desk, bent down and plugged the printer back into the outlet. AMAZING!!! She fixed it!! <idiot clerk had kicked the plug out>

Nancy in AZ

[Woodbutcher68]

I worked at a cab and limousine service in the mid '80's. One morning I went into the garage twice in the span of an hour. The secretary started complaining that it was cold in the office because I opened the door a couple times. I looked at the thermostat on the wall and found it had been turned down to 50 degrees by the night dispatcher. When I told the secretary about it, she said the thermostat had nothing to do with the temperature in the office.
Here's yer sign!