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  • Customer Service Cal

    This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
    This is a true phone call from the WordPerfect Help Line which was
    transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
    department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired;
    however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for
    "Termination without Cause." This
    is actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

    Now I know why they record these conversations!

    "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    "What sort of trouble?"

    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went

    "Went away?"

    "They disappeared."

    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



    "It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."

    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

    "How do I tell?"

    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

    "What's a sea-prompt?"

    "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

    "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

    "What's a monitor?"

    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
    have a little light that tells you when it's on? "

    "I don't know."

    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
    cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

    "Yes, I think so."

    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
    into the wall."

    "Yes, it is."

    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
    two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
    other cable."

    "Okay, here it is."

    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
    back of your computer."

    "I can't reach."

    "Uh huh. Well , can you see if it is?"


    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's


    "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
    from the window."

    "Well, turn on the office light then."

    "I can't."

    "No? Why not?"

    "Because there's a power failure."

    "A power... A power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do
    you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came

    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
    was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

    "Really? Is it that bad?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

    "Tell them you're too **** stupid to own a computer."

    Making sawdust with a Dremel 1680.

  • #2
    Mike, that is hilarious.


    • #3
      I have seen that one before I love it.
      It kind of strikes home since my sons work at a service call center.

      It must be frustrating. My son told me of one case he handled.
      He asked the person on the other end to type in a word.
      They were illiterate and didn't know one key from the next.

      He had to say look at the keyboard, count up four row, count over 6 letters and press the button!

      Funny enough the stress levels in that type of job are quite high.
      If you want to experience it for yourself, help a friend online

      PS I hope the employee wins the case.
      "proud member of the best scroll sawing forum on the net."
      Ryobi SC180VS scroll saw EX21


      • #4
        Love it

        I would say the employee needs to apply with NASA. We need more rocket scientists. At least thats what I always feel like doing when I talk to people like that. It just goes to show we don't need brains to breath.
        Linda aka Stickers


        • #5
          Seen that before too but it still brings a smile everytime I read it.

          I kinda like this old one too..

          A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

          1Tech: "What's the problems?"
          User: "There is smoke coming out of the power supply."
          Tech: "You'll need a new power supply."
          User: "No I don't! I just need to change the startup files."
          Tech: "Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it."
          User: "No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command."

          10 minutes later

          The user is still adamant that he is right. The Tech is frustrated and fed up.

          Tech: "Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem."
          User: "I knew it!"
          Tech: "Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes."

          10 minutes later.

          User: "It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking."
          Tech: "Well, what version of DOS are you using?"
          User: "MS-DOS 6.22."
          Tech: "That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes."

          An hour later
          User: "I need a new power supply."
          Tech: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
          User: "Well, I rang Microsoft and told him all about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply."
          Tech: "Then what did he say?"
          User: "He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE."


          Scrolling with a Dewalt 788


          • #6

            I can relate to those two stories in so many ways.

            I worked HelpDesk on the Bell Canada account for 2 years, then moved on to second level support on Remedy Software for the last 6 years( 2 for CGI and 4 for Nortel, my present employer).

            we have codes
            ID-TEN-T (ID10T)
            and 13 (where the problem is 13 inches behind the keyboard)
            that we can't document.

            I've had a customer that I requested she reboot her PC 4 times before finally figuring out she was turning her screen off & on and that is why she wasn't seeing the reboot sequence.

            Or you ask them if something changed on their system since the trouble started, the answer is "no", to have them tell you casually half an hour later that the software they installed wasn't that good anyways so they don't recommend it.

            or they pulled on the network cable by "accident" but plugged it back in (not quite right) but forget to mention that and tell you that the cable is plugged in when asked.

            Now see... you got me started. Sheesh!

            DW788. -Have fun in the shop or it isn't a hobby anymore.

            NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.


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