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Subject: MURPHY'S OTHER LAW'S
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Just remember... If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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A very genteel Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in South Carolina one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' (getting ready) to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father!"
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead ... I'm going to jump!"
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children!"
He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well then ... think of General Robert E. Lee!"
He replied, "Who's Robert E. Lee?"
She replied ... "well, bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb a-- Yankee!"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Just remember... If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
*****************************8
A very genteel Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in South Carolina one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' (getting ready) to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father!"
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead ... I'm going to jump!"
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children!"
He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well then ... think of General Robert E. Lee!"
He replied, "Who's Robert E. Lee?"
She replied ... "well, bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb a-- Yankee!"
