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Men's Rules

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  • Men's Rules

    The Guys' Rules
    At last a guy has taken the
    time to write this all down.

    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

    We always hear"the rules"
    from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note...
    these are all numbered "1"

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports.
    It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become
    null and void after7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the
    Victoria's Secret girls,
    don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don 't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
    and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it,
    just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible,
    please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example,
    is a fruit, not a color.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
    we will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying,
    but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't
    want an answer to,
    expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
    is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
    prepared to discuss such topics as
    baseball, the shotgun formation,
    or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know,
    I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    but did you know men really don't mind that?
    It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -
    to give them a bit of a laugh
    "proud member of the best scroll sawing forum on the net."
    Ryobi SC180VS scroll saw EX21

  • #2
    We don't need no stinking rules!

    There's a fine line between woodworking and insanity, I'm just not sure which side of the line I'm on!


    • #3
      Originally posted by CanadianScroller
      The Guys' Rules
      1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
      Christopher Columbus was looking for the Indies - he should have asked for directions!!


      • #4
        The rule

        But what he found was better! So in effect, asking for directions would have screwed everything up. :-)


        • #5
          I would guess that there is an answer for everything. So just my two cents worth. If we stop and ask directions we would not be able to spend all of that quality time togethet in the car. Steve
          If This HillBilly Can't Fix it Then it Ain't Broke!!!
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