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US Air Force Maintenance Complaints
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US
Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P)= PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they are there for.
(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
(P) Aircraft handles FUNNY.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be
serious.
(P) Target radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
That's the spirit, make your enemies laugh themselves to death
or at least pee their pants, that way they'll be so ashamed they won't come out and fight anymore (...wishfull thinking)
Regards,
Marcel
Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P)= PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they are there for.
(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
(P) Aircraft handles FUNNY.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be
serious.
(P) Target radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
That's the spirit, make your enemies laugh themselves to death
or at least pee their pants, that way they'll be so ashamed they won't come out and fight anymore (...wishfull thinking)
Regards,
Marcel
