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    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
    "proud member of the best scroll sawing forum on the net."
    Ryobi SC180VS scroll saw EX21

  • #2
    Carl again you just made my day. are you bored. I am so glad. for now i am laphing. their is just more to scrolling than scrolling. its being with family. and you are my new family. love ya my friend. Evie


    • #3
      Thanks Carl

      I haven't come across anything worth posting (humour wise) in a little while.

      I needed that.

      DW788. -Have fun in the shop or it isn't a hobby anymore.

      NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.


      • #4
        Loved it.

        As for the elevator button thing, that's something that has bothered me for quite some time. I don't get why people think if they push the button AGAIN it will get there any faster. Do they have special "elevator magic" that makes it work better for them.

        We have a couple of "Slinkies" in the office. I think they're due for a pushing down the stairs.

        Thanks for the laugh. Maybe now I can stay awake.
        "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." Walt Disney


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